Far from perfect

There was an article posted on line today that I have fallen in love with.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

She talks about how people are always telling you to "Make sure you enjoy every moment with your children, because it goes so fast!!!"  True enough, it does.  In a perfect world, I would spend every second of every day watching my children and soaking in their beautiful faces and movements.  I would remember every funny thing they have ever said or done.  Unfortunately, I have other things that require attention throughout the day.  There is work, laundry, the house, my husband, the kids, meals, etc.  It's impossible to enjoy every single moment with my children. 

What I love about the article is that she points out that just because you can't do that, doesn't mean you are doing something wrong or that you aren't enjoying these moments.  She discusses 2 types of time.  Chronos is the time you are in right now, the hour to hour, minute by minute.  Then there is Kairos.  That's the transcendental "time."  Those moments when the whole world seems to stand still and you really do see a sweet moment with your children that you etch into your brain.  I know I have these moments.  I know I have them daily.  I think that's what matters.

I also love her point about complaining about your children.  She says,

"Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest."

This really hits home for me right now.  Considering my last post, you might be able to see why.  Sometimes I think that how can I think of having another one when I often feel like I fail at having the 2 I have.  In all honesty, I don't think we are failing at all with our boys.  I think I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they both know how VERY much they are loved.  I think we do a good job of expressing that both verbally and non-verbally.  I think they are very well taken care of.  I think we could offer that to another child. 

Is it always easy? HELL NO.  Does it always feel worth it?  Yes and No. Maybe not in the moment, but I have yet to be through anything with these children that would cause me to believe becoming a parent was a mistake.

At least once a day I find myself silently thanking God for the incredible gift we've been given.  I'm so incredibly grateful for my family.  I'm grateful to be married to my best friend.  I'm beyond grateful for the gift that God has given us in these children.  I feel that if He has another one He'd like for us to take care of for Him, who am I to say no?

I'm always fearful that I'm not "present" enough with my kids.  I'm sure a lot that stems from being a working mom who happens to feel guilty about it.  I guess it's nice to know that other parents are busy too.  Hopefully this can also serve as a good reminder to stop and take it all in more often, but to also cut myself some slack when I can't.


Alison