I suck and other items

Well, it's no shock that I suck at blogging. 

I think April was my last post.  Ridiculous.

So, once again, I will pledge to keep up with this more often.  We'll see if that happens.

First things first.  Weight loss.  The good news there is that I'm on it like white on rice.

I have been working out at my new gym since April.  My weight as of this morning was 142.5.  So, from my last post, that's 7lbs down!  Now, I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but it's more than the lbs.  My body has changed and continues to.  Working with Jacquie at the gym has really jump started things for me.  I wore a string bikini on vacation!  It's crazy!  I feel great about the way I look and I'm excited to keep working on it. 

My sweet boys are doing great!  I just cannot believe how much Owen talks.  He is only 21 months and talks in almost full sentences most of the time.  He is so funny and smart and sweet.  Vincent is doing great also!  He can spell his name now and almost write it!  He has gotten much better with the fits.  Well, at least they are easier to talk him down from than they used to be.  He has also been doing great about sleeping through the night w/o Pull Ups! 

Dave and I are doing great.  I think we are better now than we have ever been.  I'm very much in love with my husband and that's a wonderful feeling. 

I'll write more soon with pictures. But I do have work to do!

-Alison

Let's try this again....

Well, my journey to weight loss has not gone as I had hoped.  I'm still right where I was when I wrote that last post. My weight on the scale this morning was 149.5.  So, actually I'm little higher than last time.

I have been working out 5 days a week for the past 3 weeks and tracking my calories.  My problem seems to be the weekends.  Too much beer, too much wine, not enough exercise..you get the point.  I don't know if 1 or 2 days of not doing what I'm supposed to can really undo 5 days of it, but it seems that it can.

So, I have joined a gym and hired a personal trainer.  I have 2 1:1 sessions with her (starting Wednesday).  Tonight I am going to my first group traning session tonight.  I'm nervous, but I'm hoping this can get me on the right track.  I'm trying very hard not to get discouraged.  I know that some effort is better than none, but it's frustrating.  I don't have any delusions about looking perfect, I just want to be comfortable in my skin and healthy.

I'm going to try and not weigh myself for a week or so.  Easier said that done, but I need to.

Here's hoping this is the kick in the butt that I need!

-Alison

Turkey Meatballs

This is one of my favorite go-to meals. They are easy to make, low in fat and calories and my whole family loves them. 

Ingredients:

2 Tbl olive oil

1 package of ground turkey

1 egg beaten

1/3 cup Italian bread crumbs

2 Tbl Parmesan cheese

1 clove of garlic- minced

salt/pepper

Directions:

Set oven to 350

Cover bottom of 9x13 baking dish with olive oil

Place the dish in the oven while it's preheating

In a bowl, mix the turkey, egg, bread crumbs, garlic, Parmesan cheese and salt and pepper together using your hands

Roll meatballs into golf ball size

Remove baking dish from oven

Place meatballs 1 inch apart in the baking dish

Bake for 15 mins, then turn and bake for another 5 mins.

I serve them with sauce and pasta.  Sometimes we substitute pasta for zucchini and squash that is sauteed in olive oil and garlic.

If you like your meatballs spicy, you can add red pepper flakes also.  These are great to freeze and use later too!

Enjoy!

-Alison



Weight Loss: Week 1

We have 13 weeks until we leave for the Outer Banks for vacation.  13 weeks to lose as much weight as I can and possibly attempt to brave a 2 piece.  I have to say, at almost 31 years old with 2 kids, I didn't think that would ever be an option for me. 

I'm going to be brave and track my progress here, including some not so flattering pictures of myself.  Hopefully this will be a good form of motivation.  If I put these pictures on the internet, I have to be able to post "after" ones to justify it.

A little background: Dave and I started working out and watching our calories last April (2011).  I was still breastfeeding Owen, but really wanted to do something about all this extra weight I was carrying around. When we started working out, I weighed 161.  This is what I weighed when I got pregnant with Owen.  When he was born, I weighed 181 (gulp). I only gained 20 lbs with the pregnancy, which is great. However, I shouldn't have weighed 161 when I got pregnant.  At any rate, the breastfeeding quickly took care of the pregnancy lbs, but did nothing for the extra 25-30 I was carrying before that.

We started tracking our calories on myfitnesspal.com and started doing the 30 Day Shred every night after the kids went to bed.  It was the last thing I wanted to do at 9:00 pm, especially after working all day.  However, that was the only option. 

I believe 150% that if Dave and I had not done this together, it wouldn't have happened.  Having your partner on board with you makes all the difference in the world. It's really hard to push yourself to eat right and exercise if he's on the couch watching tv eating Big Macs.

So, we did this from April to October.  I lost around 26lbs and Dave lost around 36lbs.  We were doing great! Then, in October, I got a new job.  It was much needed b/c I was so miserable at my old job.  However, I fell out of my routine.  I wasn't watching my calories as much and slacked WAY off in the working out. Then came winter and the holidays. Blah, blah, excuses, excuses. 

In October, when I got the job, I weighed around 135.  Monday morning, I weighed 148. I have essentially gained around 13lbs of my weight back.  I cannot express enough how frustrating that is and how irritated I am with myself.  I threw a lot that hard work out the window and now have to do it all over again.  I can't say that all the food and laziness was worth it. 

Now, it's time to focus again.  My goal this time is to not only get to my ideal weight (I will say 130 for now) but to also have enough investment in myself to keep it off. 

Monday I started running with some friends.  I was really nervous.  I have never in my life run a mile without stopping.  I ran 3.  3!!!!!  And, it wasn't that bad.  I would dare to say I kind of enjoyed it!

Right now the plan is to run M, W, F, do the Shred T, Th and Sa and take Sunday off. 

I'm back to watching my calories as well.

I weighed myself this morning and I was at 145.5.  So, we are moving in the right direction.

Here are some pictures I took of myself in January when I thought I was back on the wagon (I was wrong).

(I am not sucking in at all in these pictures)

These are from after my run yesterday:

So, no real difference yet.  Dave likes to blame that tummy on the babies.  Maybe, maybe not.  Either way, I want it gone!

Oh, here is a picture of me sucking in as much as I can.  Hopefully I will look like this some day w/o holding my breath!

-Alison 





VINCENT

I have been trying to write this post for several weeks, but blogger keeps messing with me.  So, here we go again.

My sweet boy turned 4 almost a month ago.  It's a little difficult to call him "sweet" after the fits he threw this morning.  He didn't want to get out of bed, didn't want to get dressed, didn't want to brush his teeth, didn't want to come downstairs, etc.  You get the idea.  Sometimes it's hard to remember, in these moments, that the majority of the time, he is a complete joy.

At any rate, he's my first born and my best bud.  We did an interview with him for his 4th birthday (an idea I stole from my friend Catie.)  We video taped it, so I will attempt to get it on here eventually.

He's so smart, probably too smart for his own good.  I have loved every age with him.  Although, admittedly, 2-4 was kind of rough.  He is really becoming his own little person and says the funniest things.  I heard him ask Owen in the car the other day, out of no where, "Owen, are you thinking what I'm thinking?"  So funny.  He also likes to ask us what time it is, as if it has any real meaning to him.  He also says not so funny things like "Mommy, it looks like you have another baby in your belly."  Uh...thanks dude. (That's another post all together).

He really can be so loving and so sweet.  He will come up to you with no warning and say "I love you and daddy."  Yeah, little man, the feeling is mutual. I think (read: hope) that he and Owen will be best friends.  Owen is old enough now that they are starting to play together more.  This, of course, leads to more fights.  I suppose that's inevitable though.

He seems excited about his role as a big brother and the opportunity to teach Owen things.  He is also requesting that we have another baby.  A sister this time, if we wouldn't mind.  He is a natural leader and I hope he will transition into this well.  I hope he uses this trait for good and not evil.

It's hard to believe that little 4lb 9oz baby that surprised us 4 weeks early is a big, strong, healthy preschooler. The beginning of his life was dramatic and that suits him just right. 

It's hard to remember how tiny he was...

I will never forget the day he almost quit breathing and had to be rushed to the hospital in an ambulance.  He wasn't even a month old. I'll never forget my mom coming in our room, after I got out of the shower, to tell me that Dave had to call an ambulance to come get our baby because he was turning blue.  They wouldn't let me ride in the back with him.  I sat up front.  I remember looking out the window so that the EMT driving wouldn't see me sobbing.  I also remember her telling me that the fact that he was screaming back there was a good thing.  It meant the he was breathing.  



So much to be grateful for.

Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for the opportunity to be a mother.  The blessing of being able to get pregnant and carry a baby to (almost) full term. There is no experience in the world that I will cherish more than spending 9 months with my children inside me, all to myself.  It's so exciting when they are born, but then it means you have to share them with the rest of the world.

Vincent, you are so incredibly loved by so many people. He asked me the other day if I still love him when he's being bad.  I told him that I will ALWAYS love him, no matter what he does.  There is nothing he can do or not do that would ever change that.

Nothing could be more true.

-Alison 



A sign from God or my subconscious?

As you can probably tell from previous posts, I have potential baby #3 (PB#3) on the brain,  A LOT. 

A few months ago, I was dreaming frequently about being pregnant again.  It's been a while though, since I've had one of them.  I can assure you, it's not for lack of the subject being on my mind.  It's also been a while since I prayed and asked God for a sign indicating whether or not He thought we should have another child. 

Last night, while praying, I asked for a sign regarding PB#3.  I dreamt last night that I was pregnant again.  I was very far along and my due date was rapidly approaching.  In the dream, I wanted to try for a VBAC, so I was trying everything to start labor.  I didn't know the sex of the baby either.  I woke up before the baby was born. 

I don't know that I would call myself an overly "religious" person.  I would say that I am faithful.  We haven't been to church regularly in some time.  Most of it, I blame on the kids.  At any rate, even though we aren't in attendance on Sunday, where our gratitude belongs for the blessed life we have, is not lost on me. I know who's responsible, and I try to thank Him as often as I can.  I also believe that He has a plan for our life.  I *think* it involves another child, but I'd like to be a little more sure.  This is how I get to where I am now.  From what I can remember, every time I've prayed for a sign from Him, I've dreamt that night of being pregnant.  There are many, many, many other nights, where I have gone to bed with PB#3 on the brain, that did not result in a pregnancy dream.

I suppose there is no way to really answer this question.  Or, more accurately, the answer lies with me.  I guess I just wonder, is this my sign?  Or, is this my subconscious taking what's on my mind and filtering it to my dreams?  Does it really matter?  Probably not.  Nothing in faith can really be proven, nor should I want it to.  That's kind of counter-productive. 

I asked for a sign.  I received something resembling that.  Perhaps my sign is to let go a little bit and accept what will come our way.  I can't know for sure what the plan is for us, until it plays itself out. 

I think what I can take from this is to be faithful that we will not be given more than we can handle.  If it's done with love, in good faith, can it really be wrong?


Alison

Far from perfect

There was an article posted on line today that I have fallen in love with.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

She talks about how people are always telling you to "Make sure you enjoy every moment with your children, because it goes so fast!!!"  True enough, it does.  In a perfect world, I would spend every second of every day watching my children and soaking in their beautiful faces and movements.  I would remember every funny thing they have ever said or done.  Unfortunately, I have other things that require attention throughout the day.  There is work, laundry, the house, my husband, the kids, meals, etc.  It's impossible to enjoy every single moment with my children. 

What I love about the article is that she points out that just because you can't do that, doesn't mean you are doing something wrong or that you aren't enjoying these moments.  She discusses 2 types of time.  Chronos is the time you are in right now, the hour to hour, minute by minute.  Then there is Kairos.  That's the transcendental "time."  Those moments when the whole world seems to stand still and you really do see a sweet moment with your children that you etch into your brain.  I know I have these moments.  I know I have them daily.  I think that's what matters.

I also love her point about complaining about your children.  She says,

"Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?
That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest."

This really hits home for me right now.  Considering my last post, you might be able to see why.  Sometimes I think that how can I think of having another one when I often feel like I fail at having the 2 I have.  In all honesty, I don't think we are failing at all with our boys.  I think I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they both know how VERY much they are loved.  I think we do a good job of expressing that both verbally and non-verbally.  I think they are very well taken care of.  I think we could offer that to another child. 

Is it always easy? HELL NO.  Does it always feel worth it?  Yes and No. Maybe not in the moment, but I have yet to be through anything with these children that would cause me to believe becoming a parent was a mistake.

At least once a day I find myself silently thanking God for the incredible gift we've been given.  I'm so incredibly grateful for my family.  I'm grateful to be married to my best friend.  I'm beyond grateful for the gift that God has given us in these children.  I feel that if He has another one He'd like for us to take care of for Him, who am I to say no?

I'm always fearful that I'm not "present" enough with my kids.  I'm sure a lot that stems from being a working mom who happens to feel guilty about it.  I guess it's nice to know that other parents are busy too.  Hopefully this can also serve as a good reminder to stop and take it all in more often, but to also cut myself some slack when I can't.


Alison